Lesbian Compares Her Past Monogamy to Current Poly

Sometimes, you can find some good perspectives at the Experience Project. PeggyO, who is in her late 40s, shared why she is glad she discovered polyamory and why she enjoys it. She’s a lesbian who had experienced long-term monogamy in a marriage relationship before discovering she is poly. I have not removed her typing errors.

Single now for a little over two years - I am suprised and rather shocked at my own desires to seek polyamorous relationships. I have read some books - agree with certain points made. A strong argument is the could you only love one child if you had more than one? no! you would love each one and accept them for who they are. I have always been one - who has had a wide variety of friends - good friends, I value my freindships and actually each one of those is a sort of relationship of thier own. This is especially true in the lesbian world where our friendships bonding can be quite close. So - I make connections and let them unfold as they do at a natural pace, and should it become sexual and the feelings are mutual - I invite that into my life.

She found seeking monogamy to be confining and something that brought her loneliness.

I just seems - when I was living the "monogomous" life - unless for me to cross "that" line and become intimate with another - I had to have all my ducts lined up perfect with THIS person - they must show that they are THE one - the perfect one to allow to bring myself into a "relationship" the thing is - with this thinking - you end up doing a whole lot of eleminating and much more time being lonely- but that "perfect" one could be around the corner.......

As you’ll find with many poly people and anyone else, she points out that it isn’t just about sex.

At the same time - it is not all about just sex with me - it is about knowing that woman and feeling good about expressing some mutual attractions, careing and sharing - even if our "time" together does not last until all enternity.

It is a good relationship for that time. It may not always be. She is selective…

I still look for women of character - when deciding to become intimate - so as to give myself some feeling of grounding and trust building. I am actually rather selective on who I choose to become intimate with. I do however feel very strongly - I would not wish to be required to "drop" one of my other intimate connections - so as to make any new one I make feel "safe and secure"

She gives a good explanation of why polyamory is what she needs…

Mono and Poly, it it like comparing apples to oranges. I loved my apples for a long time - I just now am enjoying oranges. This is even a better comparison. I have this unique opportunity do my having flight benefits - I live in two different areas / states - have for nine years - I live in the beautiful Cascade mountains of the Pacific Northwest for part of the week and then in a beautiful metropolis city during the other part of the week. So - everyone love to ask me - which is better to live? The mountains or the city? they almost insist it has to be either / or. I say Both! each area as their good side to it and also their bad side. I am just lucky that I get an opportunity to experience BOTH - experience and live it - in THIS I find true happiness :)

She should have equal rights, so that she can pursue happiness.

Sister Wives and Convicts?

It is disappointing, but not surprising that the Browns, featured in TLC's "Sister Wives," are facing harassment by law enforcement because these consenting adults have dared to consider themselves married. The possible charge is "bigamy," which shouldn't be a crime if everyone is consenting. Laws against consensual bigamy belong in the same dumpster in which we have dumped laws against interracial marriage.

"We looked into it, and we have detectives working on this case now," Lehi police Lt. Darren Paul told Reuters.

Lt. Paul, don't waste taxpayer money to persecute love.

The Brown family released a statement on Tuesday saying they were "disappointed" but were aware of the risks of doing the reality show.

"But for the sake of our family, and most importantly, our kids, we felt it was a risk worth taking," the statement said.

Some people think it is dangerous to show that poly people are just like other people.

Brown is legally married to just one of the women, but counts three others as "sister wives," a term in polygamist sects that refers to a husband's multiple marital partners.

Unless he is legally married to more than one woman, then the unjust laws haven't been broken, right? Well, Utah law says something else, according to this other story.

"If it really goes to a court situation, then our people are going to go right back into isolation," said Anne Wilde, co-founder of Principle Voices, a nonprofit that seeks to educate the public about polygamous families.

That's what the bigots want. They want everyone to stay in the closet.

Although it is rarely prosecuted, bigamy is a third-degree felony in Utah, punishable by a prison term of up to five years. Under the Utah law, a person can be found guilty of bigamy through cohabitation, not just legal marriage contracts.

So exactly how many unmarried poly people have been prosecuted under this law in the last twenty years? Probably none. But call yourself married, and the police will knock on your door. Sad.

"It has been our office's position not to pursue cases of bigamy between consenting adults," the attorney general's spokesman, Scott Troxel, said Tuesday. "We want to use our resources wisely."

That is setting a good example. Police should not waste their time investigating something that Attorney General isn't going to prosecute. Support the freedom to marry!