Having a perfect partner

All couples who marry desires to have a perfect partner. It is always our dream to have a perfect one that will meet our every need. However, in reality if you love someone it is always a perfect time to let go of those expectations.

In our early marriage, I would often go home late at night. My wife would complain because she cannot count how many number of times I would promise to go home for dinner but then came home late from work. She would prepare my favorite food only to find out that I would work overtime and eat in our office. It was really an irritating situation for both of us especially when the kids are waiting for me for dinner. My wife talked to me one night and cried she said that she expected a husband that would give his family quantity and quality time. I also said that when I got married, I also expected a wife that will understand me of my chosen profession as an Engineer. I would work most of the times late at night and be assigned to different destinations. We expected many things from each other like having time that was not being met at all. We would always be arguing and similar ones happened far too frequently.

We finally learned and settled that it would be healthier for both of us if we rearranged are expectations. We realized that it did no good to be angry and resentful. All we need is to adjust and meet each other’s expectations. My wife would call me before she cooks our food and I would have scheduled overtimes on specific days so us not to hamper my time with my family. When disappointing things happen, it is better to remind ourselves of our partner’s good qualities.

Let go of as many expectations as possible. Understand always each other in love. The changes you try to make your partner to whom you would like him to be would only bring disappointment. Instead, accept your partner the way he is and make the necessary adjustments. In marriage, couples are always a team. Learn to trust your partner that both of you are on the same team and not an opponent.

Congrats to Pearl Carter and Phil Bailey

A grandmother, Pearl Carter has found love in the arms of a younger man, Phil Bailey. It is making news because he's her biological grandson.

Phil is the son of Pearl's daughter Lynette Bailey, and the pair is braving public horror and even prison by breaking one of the last taboos – incest.

However, the pair makes no apologies for their controversial plan to start their own family.

Good for them. They are showing the world that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, and that their relationship is just as valid as any other.

'I'm not interested in anyone else's opinion,' Pearl says. 'I am in love with Phil and he's in love with me. Soon I'll be holding my son or daughter in my arms and Phil will be the proud dad'.

Phil adds, 'I love Pearl with all my heart. I've always been attracted to older women and I think Pearl is gorgeous.

Shouldn’t they be able to marry if they choose? They're going to have a child through a surrogate, and that child should have the legal protections of a married family, if that is what they want.

Due to Lynette being adopted out, Phil and Pearl didn’t find each other until after Phil was an adult. The article does discuss Genetic Sexual Attraction, and how knowing about that has put them at ease.

In 2006, Phil met his grandmother for the first time.

'From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship,' Pearl remembers happily. 'For the first time in years I felt sexually alive.'

Phil admits that he had the same feelings towards Pearl.

'I wanted to kiss her there and then,' he says. 'My feelings were overwhelming.'

We need more couples like them to come out to the world. Congratulations to them. And read the whole story, which, thankfully, does not have quotes from any bigots.

Looking through the eyes of love

We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Everyone goes through trials and no one is an exception to the rule. Trials come occasionally in our lives but it is the attitude that we have when we go through them that matters most. If we have trials, do we tend to complain and blame God for bad things that come to our lives? On the other hand, have we learned to humbly say thank you in the midst of trials? As what they always say, it is easy to say thank you if your life is going so well but how do you dare respond when trials come?

My wife and I have been married for 11 years and last year I could say is one of the toughest years in our marriage. I have been an engineer and worked for ten years in my chosen profession. Recession was all over the world and since I worked before in a consultancy firm, that has projects, mostly in Europe and U.S.A. our company had to close and retrench most of their employees. Unfortunately, I was one of them and losing my job had given us a financial strain in our family. I did not have a job for two months and my two kids have been hospitalized. Due to financial problem, we sold our car and believed that the Lord will sustain our every need. In the midst of our trials my wife and I did not lose heart, the two of us were more bonded than ever. Looking through the eyes of love was indeed the song for us in that year.

After two months of going through rough times, God indeed sustained us. God gave me a job in an international company. I had the highest salary in years that was more than what I expected. I believe God only tested our faith on what extent on how we will put our trust in Him. Now my family is enjoying the goodness of the Lord to us.

The two of us prayed through every rough time, we found our faith growing and our walk with God deepening. One more lesson learned, if your partner is going through a difficult time, gather and pray, but do not carry the burden. Even you may want to carry his load and make it yours do not do it. It will only make your partner feel weaker and a failure. Instead, support your spouse, encourage and stand firm for him.

One of my favorite authors Stormie Omartian says, “Trials can be a purifying fire and cleansing water. You do not want your partner to be burned or drowned; you want him to get refined and be renewed. If nothing can separate him from the love of God, then no matter how bad it get’s he always has hope!”

Misperceptions Should Not Deny Freedom

The opinion staff at the Palm Beach Post, in discussing Huckabee’s recent bigoted comments, wrote that

Incest and polygamy long have been caught up in issues of child abuse and abuse of authority. They are unpopular because, in too many cases, they have not been relationships between consenting adults. Perhaps that’s why the taboo against them remains so strong while the public is becoming more accepting of gay marriages between consenting adults.

This is a rather flimsy attempt to justify prejudice. How often do we hear about domestic violence inside of a heterosexual marriage? And there’s probably some abuse in some same-sex marriages. That there are abusers out there who have perpetuated their abuse against minor family members or when they have had more than one spouse should not bar the rest of us from the freedom to enjoy loving relationships and marriages.

We need to demand fair, well-rounded coverage of and teaching about polyamorous and consanguineous relationships as well as gay and lesbian relationships.

Oh Canada

A man is facing prison in Canada because he had sex with his adult sister. This article calls it “nonconsensual.” The charge, though, is incest, not rape, and you’ll see why if you keep reading.

A former senior officer with the Vancouver Police Department will be sentenced May 5 after pleading guilty to committing incest in an incident involving his sister.

He is 47. She is 46.

The brother and sister had been to the World Police and Fire Games in Vancouver in August 2009, and after drinking at a sports bar, the pair went back to a condominium the brother shared with his girlfriend.

Court heard that the brother later entered the bedroom his sister was in and had unprotected, non-consensual sex with her while both were in an alcohol-induced semi-conscious state.

Sounds to me like they were both intoxicated. If she couldn’t consent because she was drunk, how can he be held criminally responsible if he was drunk as well? They do not indicate that he raped her, though considering that she was married, and considering the bigoted shaming against consanguineous sex to the point of his prosecution, she is definitely under pressure to deny there was consent, or she could be prosecuted as well.

He has resigned from the police force and has to live with the stigma of a ruined reputation, the lawyer said.

Yes, destroy his life because he had sex. What kind of sense is that? What danger does he pose to anyone?

Are your kids taking over your marriage?

Hmmm…does my title ring a bell? One of the greatest tests of parents is how to sustain their relationship with their partners in the course of challenging presence of children. Without your knowing children will get the run of your relationship if not properly directed.

Research shows, marital satisfaction habitually declines after having three babies, while separations and divorces rise. Furthermore, children happen to be silent mistresses of a marriage. Because having children demands most of your time and attention. However, I totally disagree to this research. Children are a blessing from God; they are given to a couple as a gift to further bond couples and not to divide them. Couples who stick together as partners through the process of becoming parents can keep their marriage strong.

When our eldest child was born, she was the most beautiful face. We experienced great joy but we have also come to realization that having a child and becoming parents will become our greatest challenge. My wife and I would make shifts in taking care of our baby. I would do at least 3 hours of taking care of our baby at night so my wife could rest for a while. She would be in charge of taking care of our baby on daytime and the rest of the night. Our time was really focused on our baby and honestly, we overlooked the nurturing of our relationship for some time.

My wife and I realized that we could remain partners and parents at the same time. To avoid stress, arm yourself with lots of information. You can ask your parents and friends or read books about the basic process of having a newborn and the frequent possibilities that you have to adapt. Do not hesitate to negotiate with your partner. If you feel you have already reached your limitations then it is time to seek your partners help. Do not carry all the burden of parenthood. Being parents is a two way process, both partners must rotate the tires in raising up their children. Despite the endless demands of parenthood, be sure to take time for just the two of you. In taking care of your children, treat it as part of your love and not just of a mere obligation.

Having our children made our lives more complicated, but it made our relationship stronger and deeper. In fact, I love our life now and that is because of our two kids. Marriage always takes two and it means also in becoming parents. The expert comments: “No one takes a mother’s place, and the family will be stronger and happier if she makes room for Daddy!” “Children have taken two people who loved each other and turned them into something more: OUR CHILDREN MADE US A FAMILY!”

Texas Bigamy Law

Two men were recently sentenced to prison on bigamy charges. They were also sentenced for sexual assault of a child. If they were already going to prison for child abuse, why the bigamy charges and sentencing? It is difficult to care much about a child abuser, but these laws preventing the freedom or marry can be used against anyone.

Both men belong to the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which teaches that plural marriage brings glorification in heaven. Members have been reluctant to talk publicly about such unions, in part because Texas' bigamy statute makes it illegal to even purport to marry more than one person. Many of the FLDS unions are only church-sanctioned, not legally documented, marriages.

So in Texas, it is illegal to even say you are married to more than one person. This needs to change.

I will keep pointing to real people being hurt by a lack of full marriage equality. If Texas had full marriage equality, there also wouldn't be this problem with divorcing married couples of the same-sex.

Housework a day-to-day struggle?

Housework, as harmless as it may seem was categorized as one of the common issues in marriage. Would it be right for men to be doing household chores? Would women be always in charge of housework? How could a simple washing of the dishes or cleaning the toilet be a day-to-day struggle?

In our early marriage, my wife and I shared all the household chores. We did everything together; we are partners in doing the laundry, cooking, washing the dishes, cleaning and ironing of clothes. However, I had taken on a lot more responsibility on office work and my wife would take care most of the housework. Since my wife is also working, she had to do household chores at night. She would work in the bank for eight hours every day and would come home to cook, clean our house and wash the dishes. I know it was very tiring for her, but I could not really help her because I was also working hard. She was doing all right but after awhile, I guess she just physically burned out.

She became easily irritated, angry and upset at times. She began to complain about feeling overloaded and began to have mood swings. My wife would complain on doing housework that was really to be a men’s work like fixing our faucet, painting or carrying heavy loads. After awhile this housework thing became one of our common disputes in our marriage. A simple thing of who will do the laundry would create arguments. It maybe inoffensive as it seems but it is starting to be the beginning of an argument.

My wife and I talked and started to sort things out. We agreed that both of us must take a more active role in home chores. I would wake up early in the morning to prepare for breakfast while my wife would wash the dishes. My wife would be in charge of cooking our dinner because I would come home late from work. When my wife would do the laundry and iron clothes especially on weekends I would do the cooking and washing of dishes. Sundays are reserved for major chores like fixing broken fixtures, painting or shopping for groceries. We make sure that this housework became not an obligation on our part but also a bonding time for both of us.

Communication and proper allocation of time is very important. The division of labor is always based on what is to be done and who is available to do it. I do not care if I do the laundry with my wife or cook sometimes because it is also a chance for me to appreciate what my wife has been doing for years. Doing the laundry will not in any way affect myself-worth of being a man. Handling additional housework is not as demanding on my time and effort as I thought it would be!

Polyamory is Not an Anti-African Plot

Sam Lwanga, or “Uncle Sam,” says the sky is falling because a woman loves two men. See what he wrote here.

Yes, I had read about Polyandry, where a woman has two husbands, but the prospect of hearing it from the horse’s mouth was, literally, mouth-watering. I mean, how on earth is this supposed to make sense?

Together, they meet her needs. What is so hard to understand about that?

As it turned out, this was not even polyandry – because the woman is not legally married to the men; it is called polyamory – each person has more than one partner and they are all okay with the situation.

They are all okay with the situation, and it is none of his business. But Sam doesn’t grasp that. He goes on to call the situation troubling, and then describes a hypothetical polyamorous situation, and calling it “madness.”

I don’t know about you, but for me, the idea of sharing a wife or girlfriend is repulsive to the bone.

So don’t do it, Sam.

Your average man wants to achieve things, to accomplish things, to be in control.

Not all men want to be in control. And some who do maintain control even if someone they love also loves another. Open up that closed mind of yours, Sam.

Sam worries about paternity, but as even he realizes, there are DNA tests. There are also things like - calendars and birth control. He also worries about Sexually Transmitted Infections. There are tests and precautions for those.

I actually suspect this thing may be a sinister plot to finish off the African race.

Actually, polyamory exists all over the world with people of different races, and besides, polyamory is not destructive.

He goes to worry about a slippery slope, in which a mother and her adult son are going to fall in love and have a child. But he never explains what would be wrong with that.

We are inching ever closer to a world where sons marry mothers and brothers and sisters are free to do their thing provided they are consenting adults. Crazy!

It isn’t crazy, and it has been going on forever. It should be legal globally and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it. But let others have their happiness.

The Joe D' Mango Love story

Hello friends! I just like to share to you a touching story e-mailed to one of my friends matt. Here is an excerpt of the story. It talks about forgiveness and second chances. To all of the married couples I highly recommend this story. Please read be inspired and moved! You can read the full story here http://mattscradle.com/?p=328 Thank you friends!

                          “I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF…”

What hurts most?

…when you can’t fight for that one thing that would make you happy…

…I may never be the guy you look forward to seeing every day…

…but I will always be the guy who will look out for you each and every day…

Sad Girl: “don’t make me feel that i’m just a selfish jerk just because I

made you cry”!

Sad Guy: “then don’t make me feel like I did nothing for you when I almost died crying just to see you smile…”Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And some ask ourselves: Will our actions echo across the centuries?

Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?

Love isn’t when you can’t sleep … it’s when you want to keep your eyes

open…

Love isn’t when you keep holding on … it’s when you learn to let go …

Love isn’t when you kill yourself with jealousy … it’s when you

understand …

Love isnt’ when you fall for someone … it’s when you catch that person

when she falls…

Love isn’t when you see her everywhere … it’s when you close your eyes

and she is still there …Love isn’t when you tell her what you feel … it’s when you give

everything for her sake…And Love isn’t when you think you were blind … it’s when you know she

was wrong but you didn’t mind!

http://mattscradle.com/?p=328

Huckabee's Bigotry Not Fully Repudiated

Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, a Republican who sought his party’s nomination for President in 2008, has reminded the world that he’s against marriage equality.

He continues to oppose any government recognition of same-sex relationships. Even civil unions are “not necessary,” Huckabee said.

They may not be necessary for him, but they are necessary as temporary assistance as we move towards marriage equality.

Huckabee went on to draw parallels between homosexuality and other lifestyles that are considered by some to be morally aberrant. “You don’t go ahead and accommodate every behavioral pattern that is against the ideal,” he said of same-sex marriage. “That would be like saying, well, there are a lot of people who like to use drugs, so let’s go ahead and accommodate those who want to use drugs. There are some people who believe in incest, so we should accommodate them. There are people who believe in polygamy, so we should accommodate them.”

The drug use comment is strange. But he does a standard anti-equality move in mentioning polygamy and consanguineous marriages along with (two-person) same-sex marriages.

He does almost get it right when he asks…

"Why do you get to choose that two men are OK but one man and three women aren't OK?" he asked.

They are ALL OK. None of them are anyone else's business.

Unfortunately, rather than standing up and completely repudiating this bigotry, as happens all too often, too many people refuse to support the right to love for all, letting their polyamorous and consanguineous neighbors be thrown under the bus. Even worse is when they turn on their neighbors and join in the bashing of those neighbors. This is like “black vs. brown”- when African Americans only care about rights for African Americans, and may even attack Latinos, or when Latinos behave the same way towards African Americans. Equality must be for all, otherwise it isn’t equality.

Here is an example. Someone identified as “Alex511” wrote after the Washington Post covered the story…

Huckabee is a nutball if he thinks that my marriage to my lovely WIFE in June 2008 (we're a gay Christian couple) is against "the idea of morality". He needs to yank the huge log out of his own tiny little eyeball before trying to remove a "speck" that he claims is in someone else's eye.

He also needs to remember that incest and polygamy are illegal, whereas being glbt is NOT.

But they aren't illegal everywhere, and they shouldn’t be illegal anywhere. GLBT used to be illegal, too, and polygamy and consanguineous marriages used to be accepted and respected in the law. They should be again. Everyone should have the right to marry the person or persons of their choosing.

We expect bigotry-laden double standards from the likes of Huckabee, even as we demand that such people leave their ignorance behind. What hurts is the lack of support from those who claim to support marriage equality.

The next time someone denigrates marriage or any kind of relationships between consenting adults - gay, lesbian, polyamorous, or consanguineous – we should all immediately and loudly respond with “Everyone should have the right to marry."

Alabama

There are many examples of how laws violate the right to love. I found a story here from last year from the Florence, Alabama area. I wasn’t able to find follow-up information.

An east Florence man and his stepdaughter have been charged with incest after their sexual encounters were reportedly videotaped and photographed, authorities said.

Did they abuse someone? No. As it turns out, she was 20 and he was 43 – they were consenting adults. But…

Incest is a felony in Alabama and can involve people who are not blood relatives. The law states that having sex with a stepchild or stepparent is considered incest.

So they were both arrested. For consensual, private sex. I’m all for protecting minor children from abuse, but that’s not what was going on here.

Authorities said the case against Trieber and Montanez surfaced as the department was investigating allegations of possible child pornography, which they were later told could be found at Trieber's house.

A search of the residence resulted in three computers and numerous DVDs, CDs, photos, videotapes and home videos being confiscated.

Police said that as investigators were reviewing the materials, they found images - on videos and photos - of Trieber and Montanez having sex on four different occasions.

At the time of the article, there was no information about child pornography charges, and I haven’t found any subsequent news, so that leads me to believe there was no such material. The investigation should have ended and the lovers should have been left alone.

It shouldn’t be illegal to do what these two lovers did. Nobody should be arrested and locked up for consensual relationships. Sadly, I’m not surprised, given that this is Alabama we are talking about.

When both of you work, what is your priority?

What happens when both of you are working? What is your priority work or marriage? Dedication to both career and marriage do not need to be equally restricted. With a little adjustment and inspiration, there are ways to make the most of your work capability and have the joy of a happy family life.

Years ago, when my wife and I are both working, each of us is busy building a career. Though our worked had heavy demands on each of us, it recharged our relationship. I remember, even when we both work on overtime my wife and I would spent time going to the cinema, buying food and drinks and enjoy watching movies on the last full show. It was indeed a refreshing time, an outlet for both us after a tiring day at the office. We would take time to eat at a restaurant or have bowling on weekends. Having time with your spouse is a decision if you want to have a strong marriage. Simple things like sending a text message on break time is an easy thing to do and it will not be a waste of time. A strong marriage requires time and it should be a time well spent.

When both of you are working, stress from work is normal. Try listening to music or drinking a cup of tea or cold juice in a quiet place individually. A place that is far from the thought of unpaid bills and heavy loads of household chores. By giving time for each other to revive yourselves individually, it will prepare you to interact and talk to each other better.

Couples make the mistake of thinking their marriage will somehow take care of itself. However, unless you have the passion about building your marriage relationship, you will not end up with a worthy marriage. Partners who both have good careers usually face a number of complicated choices. Choices like are you willing to resign from your job for the sake of your children? How will you support each other’s professional aspirations? When major decisions like these are present, you need to carefully evaluate the choices and their consequences. Unless you make these tough choices together, you will end up in a struggle over whose career is more important.

Happy Sibling Couples

It isn’t hard to find widely publicized accounts of abuse by an older sibling against a significantly younger minor sibling. That, along with parents abusing their minor children is referred to as “incest,” and the impression given is that such abusive relationships are the totality of incest.

But there are consanguineous pairs who are truly consenting, and can lead happy lives together as adults. Due to prejudice and ignorance, we don’t hear about them often. As long as that is so, it will be harder to reach full marriage equality.

You can find some of these sibling couples on the GSA website. Back in August of 2004, someone by the name of “rollingrocker1972” wrote…

My sister and I were both single when we met. We have no children and our relationship with our family, while not strained, is somewhat distant. As a result no one was hurt or betrayed when we became involved. We've been together for several years now and intend to be together for the rest of our lives. We consider ourselves married. A legal marriage is of course impossible, but so what? As long as we keep the fact that we're half-siblings a secret it is highly unlikely that we will ever have any problems.

Although he was resigned at the time to legal marriage being “impossible,” it doesn’t have to be. We can make it happen. Why keep them from being happy? Slowly, we are making progress towards marriage equality. I look forward to the day when he and his sister won’t have to hide.

Letting go of the past

Have you ever waked up one evening because of a bad dream? A dream that has happened from your past and is still haunting you right at this very moment. Is this dream from your past dramatically affecting your life now?

His father has bitten one of my friends when he was a child. His father was an alcoholic and he would always be one of the victims of his fathers’ indiscriminate anger. His father would always call for a fight and yell at other people. Shattered windows and bad words have been an ordinary day for them after an alcohol session. He would even remember hiding inside the cabinet with his brothers and sisters so as not to be bitten by their father. At a young age he grew up to witness his father hurting their mother and his family, in short they are living in chaos and bitterness.

When my friend got married, he felt happiness and relief. He thought being married to a kindhearted wife would be the solution to his problem. Having a family of his own would remove the hurts in the past that he experienced from his father. One evening my friend confronted me and said he was having nightmares from his past. He would often wake up frightened and finding himself crying and trembling in a corner of their room. He was still caught in bondage of fear from his childhood. My friend confessed that even though he was not drinking alcohol he would sometimes spank his child and say rude things to his wife.

I advised my friend to start forgiving and letting go of the past. It was not that easy for a start because anger and bitterness have been rooted since his childhood. It has to be a choice and a decision in his part. He is still undergoing the healing process not only for himself but also primarily for his family.

In marriage, your spouse past not only affects him, it affects your children as well. The past should not be a place where we live, but something from which we learn. One of my favorite authors Stormie Omartian said, “God is a redeemer and a restorer. We need to allow Him to be both. He can redeem the past and restore what was lost. We can never move out of the present onto the future of what God has for us if we cling to and live in the past.”

Letting go of the past always starts with forgiveness, it is always a decision you have to make. Do not let your past affect your present and future life. If there are hurts that have been done in the past start pouring forgiveness into your heart so bitterness and anger would not prevail. Treat your past as a history to learn from it and not as a guide to your daily life.

There is More Love

We’re adding the Loving More Polyamory Blog to our listings. According to the website,

Loving More® is a national not for profit corporation, educational website, online community and magazine dedicated to support and education of polyamory and polyamorous issues, supporting the polyamorous community both nationally and internationally for more than twenty two years.

Loving More Mission:

To educate people about and support polyamory as a valid choice in loving relationships and family lifestyle.

They say they believe:

Loving relationships and healthy families can come in many beautiful and valid forms. How people choose to experience relationships and love is an individual and personal choice. Through education about polyamory and other relationship or love styles, we hope to allow people the freedom to be open and honest about their personal love and relationship choices, without fear of the prejudice or hardships that being non-traditional can bring. Through education, publicity and research, we intend to open the door to freedom and safety for those who choose polyamory as individuals and as families.

That sounds like it fits right in with our fight for full marriage equality.

The polyamory aspect of my friends’ relationship seems to enhance the relationships between everyone. We know this because while Linda and Melissa were already experiencing a profound love as a consanguineous pair, beyond what they previously imagined possible, when Matthew found them, the addition of his love seemed more than what either woman had experienced with a man before, and it added to their love for each other.

How to get your finances in order

For most marriage couples finances or money matters have been a frequent issue. Many couples usually get into arguments on how to get their finances in order. You can get your finances in control if you have a shared dedication, proper choices and a realistic financial plan.

Every married couple must have a budget plan. A budget is nothing more than a predetermined spending plan that puts into practice the objectives you have developed together. For example; if both of you have budgeted seven hundred dollars for a vacation trip, when you spend within that amount there will be no guilty conscience on your part. When shopping with your family you can set aside an amount to be spent for your kids, wife and other needed necessities.

• Do not go to a mall and shop without an object on your mind this will result to impulsive buying that will lead to unwanted amounts on your credit card payments.

• You can estimate your expenses every month and set aside a budget for each category. Set aside a budget for primary commodities like house rent or mortgage, groceries, water and electric payments, tuition fees etc. As you estimate your expenses, you can probably come close to the actual numbers.

• Both of you must analyze and talk about the situation. Discuss about what you owe, what you own and where you are spending your money. Solve one problem at a time. For example, you want to prepare for your child’s education. Start saving a few dollars every month in a bank or invest in a proven and stable college education plan company. By doing that you will also develop a habit of saving on your part.

Couples go through their marriage having financial issues in their marriage, and the major requirement is discipline. Discipline does not mean a change in your entire lifestyle. You can narrow down your expenses by choosing the right lifestyle inclined for your family. You are a couple now, you are not on your own so adjusting with your finances, lifestyle, and reordering your priorities is a part of your package in marriage.

Recurring arguments can be habit forming

Every married couple knows that arguments are unavoidable. Arguments are a normal part of marriage. That is because it is not easy living and becoming one with a different person. Each person has flaws and adjustments are to be made for your marriage to work out. When you got married to your partner you agreed to be one so changes in your marriage does not require only one spouse but both of you should work it out. Occasional arguments are ok because it gives out the individuality of a couple but recurring arguments that becomes habit forming is highly unacceptable in a marriage.

I know of a man whose habit is becoming irritated and miserable. He would always see things in a negative way and argues about everything even in good news. He always looks life as a burden and is a misfortune. Because of that, all of the people around him particularly his family were affected emotionally. Recurring arguments can be habit forming and this has been one of their struggles in their marriage. They would shout at each other and even hurt each other in front of people. One of the authors in my favorite book would always say “Nothing makes a marriage feel like hell on earth and nothing is more upsetting or emotional provoking, nothing does more to bring out the worst in us than a marriage where the partners is lacking in common courtesy.”We do not want to be like that man, nor do we want to live with one.

Recurring arguments can be habit forming so the best thing to do is to deal with it immediately. If you would allow having an argument to consistently arise, it will make your marriage miserable. When you deal with an argument talk with a low tone voice and watch your words. “A louder voice can’t get your partners attention, an angry voice always have uglier words, thus leads to more disputes and arguments”.

After discussing both of you must clean up the mess. Be well mannered and accept each other’s differences. Settle the issue and decide what must have to be done in a compassionate and respectful manner. Be kind hearted and wipe each other’s tears after the fight. The best things to do when arguments arise in a relationship learn to say “I am wrong” or “You are right”. Be always humble and love your partner unconditionally that is what couples are partners for a lifetime!