Poly People Give Good Relationship Advice

Over at Polyamory Paradigm, there is some good advice about incorporating someone new into your life.

Don't cut corners.

It may be tempting to overlook things with that new relationship. Maybe you find out the person doesn't shower every day and it bugs you. Maybe they leave the sink full of dirty dishes which annoys you a bit. Don't make the mistake of overlooking those things just to facilitate the relationship. Those are the little things that can come back later and bite you. I'm not saying make a big deal or keep score or anything like that. In any relationship you always pick your battles. What I'm saying is don't dismiss them completely in the interest of merging your life with the new person.

This is true of any relationship, poly, monogamous, or whatever. You should not commit yourself beyond what you know and with what you are comfortable. Someone new can be exciting, but it is foolish to have sex, or move in, or make promises or demanding agreements too soon, and these thigns should not be done without being honest about each other, including in our own minds.

Don't terraform.

You know what that is right? The destruction of an existing environment for the purpose of creating a new one. (Yes, that is a rough definition, don't quote me). In other words, don't destroy your current life just to fit in the new person.

Again, this is good to apply to any relationship.

There is much more to consider in that writing, but you’ll have to go check it out for yourself.

The Legal Repercussion of Being Outed as Polyamorous

Polyamory Paradigm looks into legal repercussions of being outed as poly.

A while back I wrote an article explaining why I often don't use my real name for writing blogs. Sensitive topics, personal security, social discrimination, and more that I don't need to rehash here again. While discussing that article recently I heard a comment I found interesting. A friend said, "I could lose my license for being Poly".

Really?

I didn't argue since I don't have much experience with professional licenses. I did ask a few questions though. Basically what I was hearing is that licenses, such as the different types issued for massage and counseling, could be revoked is a person was found to be polyamorous.

While some licenses in some states are unlikely to be revoked, as the entry notes, child custody can be a different matter. It would be great if we could have a law or court decision that would make it clear that consenting adults have a right to love, sex, and marriage, and protect them from things like loss of license, custody, or job based on being poly.