Abstract and Actual

In forums such as Yahoo Answers, you can find some gems and some stinkers. Quite often when it comes to questions about consanguineous, gay, or polyamorous sex, you’ll see bigots throwing stones from behind their computer screens.

As happens from time to time, someone posed the question “Why is incest illegal?” Some responses cited child abuse, even though it was a question about consenting adults.

Here are some samples of responses:

Because its against nature and disgusting to all human beings who are sane .the one thing the whole world agrees with , gentile or jew or Muslim

Ah yes. “It’s disgusting.” That’s what some people say about peas, but they aren’t banned.

A fear of deformities is usually given as the reason, although that's not really biologically valid. Ask any farmer how interbreeding is used to IMPROVE the breed.

Hey, some intelligence!

I think because there is a thin line between allowing incest and allowing bestiality, society has to draw the line somewhere and apparently incest is the line which we won't cross.

! ? ! Maybe that person sees their family members as nonhuman; otherwise, I don’t know where they get that.

I don't think it should be punishable, unless they have or intend to have children, but anyone who does do that kind of thing probably needs help, serious help.

Maybe you’re the one who needs help? You may have latent desire, given your hostility.

I'm certainly not advocating it though. For one thing it is disgusting. For the other it would result in a lot of family strife and family breakdowns. There are very good reasons why it is taboo in our culture!

But you didn’t cite any. Family strife and breakdown? As if there’s none of that going on when two unrelated people get together.

There is a legitimate state interest in protecting the stability of families. Incest tends to destabilize them.

What about divorce? Actually, from what I’ve seen and what I’ve heard from others, consanguineous love strengthens some families.

In the actual case, someone wrote about having sex with his sister…

Im 19 and my sister is 23, we both live in the same apartment. today I saw my sister getting out of the shower and couldnt resist her. we both had feelings for each other in the past and this morning.. we actually did it. can i face legal charges?

THIS IS NOT A MADE UP STORY. ME AND MY SISTER IS ACTUALLYHALF-RELATED. WE BOTH SHARE THE SAME FATHER, BUT A DIFFERENT MOTHER.

Most responses were the standard bigoted and hurtful senseless remarks. But there was a good answer, too.

Talk to her. Find out how she feels about it - there's probably going to be a lot of guilt, yours and hers. But you should know this; that guilt is mostly because you think you are SUPPOSED to feel guilty.

Examine how you really feel about each other, and then try to plan out what you are going to do in the future. If you care about her, and you don't want to screw up her life, think carefully about going ahead, and the changes you are going to have to make in your lives.

Very good advice.

It's Nice to See Some Support

I pointed you to Lanna Lovely’s book review, but here’s something she wrote regarding her thoughts on consanguineous romance and sex. She points out that even though it isn’t something for her, she mostly comes down on the side of freedom.

In real life, the idea of incest (brother/sister) grosses me out -- but that's just my subjective opinion, because I could never think about my brother that way, it's just... ew. But objectively, I'm not so judgemental about it or creeped out. If two people love each other and they don't see each other as siblings, then why is that so wrong?

It isn’t.

We don't choose who our parents are. We can't choose who we fall for... emotions don't come with an on/off switch, they just happen regardless of what is right or wrong or socially acceptable.

So far, so good. But as she did with her book review, she expresses her concerns about children.

Now, I totally agree that people who are blood related shouldn't have children together, it increases the childs risk of having all sorts of mutations and birth defects.

This is a myth. It is a matter of genetics between both biological parents, whether they are closely related or not.

People don't have to like it. There are people in the world against homoesexuality or people of different races or religions being together... if you strip away the having children aspect of incest, why is it any different?

She’s exactly right, except for the children. She goes on to mention a case of genetic sexual attraction.

Imagine loving someone and them loving you back but you can't be together because other people say it's wrong? I'm betting loving them and being with them wouldn't feel so wrong, it's the rest of the worlds problem, not theirs.

Precisely.

The fact that two people could get sent to prison just for falling in love with each other is beyond insane.

Glad she agrees. Let’s work to change that! Go read everything she wrote.

The comments are mostly supportive, which is refreshing.

sealednectar addressed the birth defects red herring.

That is true. But that would be taking a human right away from them, wouldn't it? Would this be written down as a law? Telling them, you're related, you CAN be together...but you can't have children (supposing they want to have children together).

Right. That wouldn’t be equality.

What if this brother and sister DO get together, but a few years down the line, they break up? Will they still have to see each other for the rest of their lives at family gatherings?

People deal with this all of the time with divorce. This is not a reason to deny equality.

What if it wasn't siblings? What if it was a mother and her a son (of the legal age), or a father and his daughter (of legal age) or just a parent/child couple, uncle/niece (of legal age) who decided they were in love? Even if they were both consenting to this, I wouldn't like this.

We don’t get a reason as to why this person would be okay with one, but not the other.

I think though, in time, sibling couples will become (somewhat) acceptable in this society in the same way as other taboo relationships have been accepted in the past. That's my prediction:)

Let her prediction come true, so that all consenting adults are free to love.