Polygamy in Malaysia

Here we go again with “polygamy is bad for women.”

Men in polygamous unions are happier than their wives, according to a quantitative survey on polygamy among Muslims.

The survey showed that 97% of the men felt they were getting enough or more in term of tenderness and love after taking a second wife.

For the wives, though, it was another story.

Some 42% of first wives felt they were getting less intimacy, tenderness and love after their husbands married again.

Compared to what percentages in supposedly monogamous marriages?

“Most men who practice polygamy say they married again because they do not want to indulge in sex out of wedlock,’’ said head researcher of the study Prof Norani Othman.

I can’t imagine a man would take on another wife if he is already getting everything he needs and wants in a woman from his current wife or wives, and if what he is giving in return is only enough for her. And let’s remember that marriage is more than sex.

The survey also revealed that polygamy had taken a financial toll on the families of the first wives.

A total of 44% of them had to take on extra work as their husbands could not provide for them as they had done before.

This goes beyond the marriage practices to the larger culture. After all, this is a limited form of polygamy (polygyny only) with a limit of four wives to one husband, and there are other restrictions, especially on women, including when it comes to employment and finances. With gender equality and the freedom to other forms of polygamy (grouping, polyandry), women would have more power over their own lives.

Nobody should promise to provide a certain amount of time and financial resources to someone else and then abandon or change that promise without mutual agreement. The other person should be truly free to leave with their share of the resources if things are changed.

I don’t like to see studies and articles like this used to paint poly bad with a broad brush. There are some women who enjoy polygyny, especially independent women, like a woman who will feel smothered and put upon if her husband is always depending on her for attention.

Malaysia Needs Marriage Equality

Someone was sentenced to a month in jail in Malaysia for getting married. Can you believe it?

A Muslim lawmaker from Malaysia's ruling coalition was sentenced to a month in jail for polygamy on Wednesday after he married an actress without permission from a religious court.

Bung Mokhtar Radin, 50, a leading figure in the Barisan Nasional coalition, and his second wife, Zizie Ezette A. Samad, 31, both pleaded guilty to polygamy last month.

Muslim men in Malaysia are allowed up to four wives, but in certain parts of the country they must obtain written court consent or risk a fine or jail term under Sharia religious law.

Ridiculous. Everyone should be able to freely marry. It should be up to them, and nobody else.

Judge Wan Mahyuddin Wan Muhammad was cited by the official Bernama news agency Wednesday as saying that Bung's "offence should be dealt with severely."

Shame on Judge Wan Mahyuddin Wan Muhammad.

Zizie agreed to pay a 1,000 ringgit (S$430) fine for marrying Bung without court consent.

Activists and women's groups say polygamy is cruel and has deviated from its original purpose in Islam, which was to protect widows and orphans.

This is ignorance. Marriage is about love.

More than 60 percent of Malaysia’s 27 million people are Muslim Malays, and polygamy is illegal for non-Muslims.

Everyone should have the freedom to marry.