Marriage Childhood loads testimony

In my previous article marriage childhood loads I discussed about the common family scenes that a couple should look into. It is very important that couples should be conscious and sensitive to the influence of their childhood loads before getting married. Without your knowledge you can be passing the mistakes that your parents have done to your own family.

I learned in my own marriage how damaging ruthless anger can be. I was a product of verbal and slight physical child abuse when I was a kid. My mom went abroad for a short time so she had savings and she invested it in business. My agony started when I was nine years old and my parents was in debt because they have been swindled and deceived by people. I can’t also blame my mom she was depressed because her savings was gone and being the only child I became the “shock absorber” in our family.

I remember waking up and she would hit me many times with a broom stick when I didn’t wake up early for school. I would try to cover my face with my arms and hand because my mom wants to hit my face so my arms as my shield got most of the beatings. I went to our school and almost everyday crying and with pain in my arms. I would remember looking outside the window of our school service always so my schoolmates won’t notice my teary eyes. I was not a perfect person but I could say I am an obedient and responsible child. I had good grades and I never had time with my friends because my parents didn’t want me to do so. My mom and I had disputes in my teenage years and it was her outlet of yelling and throwing slippers to my face (gladly I’m an expert in my arm shield). She would scold and spank me for simple reasons like spilling a glass of water in our table unintentionally. Even in my teenage years I was not allowed to play outside our house and go out with my friends. My hatred towards my mom grew and grew and I became bitter.

When my parents and I became a Christian things went out well. The whole family attended church and I know it wasn’t right so I tried to hide my hatred towards my mom. But when I got married, the strong negative feelings of hatred were still there and started to pollute my marriage. I started to treat my kids like my mom treated me. I would scold, spank and shout at them even how little there mistake was. I was too strict in implementing house rules and I didn’t want them to play with other kids. It wasn’t until my spouse confronted me about the real issue – my bitterness towards my mom. On my next article you’ll read about my personal breakthroughs and healing steps I did to overcome this issue in our marriage.