Marriage Childhood Loads

In countless ways couples go into their marriage carrying the baggage of childhood and teenage life. Marriage gives couples the opportunity to follow how the right principles of their parents or to set things right to any mistakes they felt their parents have imposed in them. Some couples try every move not to follow their parents’ footsteps in marriage but often couples fall into trap of repeating again the same mistakes with their spouse. “Couples carry loads of problems into their marriage, and many of them unconsciously are out of the methods they were brought up.”

Have you had certain fears of having your own family because you have experienced it yourself, seeing and living in a broken family? Treating and disciplining your child in a rude manner because you have suffered abuse from your parents?

I myself have fallen to this trap but before I’ll give you some tips and lessons in my next article let me first course you through common family scenes that can make you identify what area should be corrected.

· Ruthless Anger – This is the most common issue when marriage couples who grew up in a home where shouting and yelling to each other is a day to day habit often falls to wrestle with anger in their relationship. A normal home for them would be what others say an “emotional mine”, where everyday would be an outburst of anger with no reason. Yelling becomes the usual language of anger and believe me this area is one of the hardest thing to solve. A person being raised in this kind of environment have a hard time trusting, always having an issue or a reason to put up a fight and often struggles to have a rooted emotional link to their partner.

· Childhood Sexual Abuse – A person with this problem usually resurfaces in marriage. They have a hard time trusting their sexual relationship with their partner. It will be a struggle for them to be affectionate and passionate to their mate. When this happens to be your marriage problem it would not be wrong to seek professional help if you need to. It’s cheaper than getting a divorce and suffers the emotional and mental consequences of a broken marriage.

· Competition – Adults who grew up into this competitive environment often treat their mate to be player, a challenger an opponent and not as their partner. Sounds familiar? Unknowingly couples tend to compete in getting their kids attention and love. Comparing financial matters when both couples are working. Winning in every decision made in your relationship happens to be the constant target.

· Flawless or faultless – This person grew up to be adults who fear committing mistakes. They were trained not to make mistakes and ends up to have high expectations from their partner. They often fall into two categories it’s either you be the leader or a follower. A leader that treats his mate like a devotee that must follow his every instruction or someone who lacks confidence to do something because his afraid to commit mistakes.

Experience have shown me that pointing your finger and accusing your parents for your struggles in marriage wouldn’t solve your problem it will only give you bitterness and indiscriminate anger that will totally ruin your marriage. I have been through this and I survived! Read my next articles about my testimony and try to implement the steps. I hope it would give answers to one of your many sought questions.