Hmmm…does my title ring a bell? One of the greatest tests of parents is how to sustain their relationship with their partners in the course of challenging presence of children. Without your knowing children will get the run of your relationship if not properly directed.
Research shows, marital satisfaction habitually declines after having three babies, while separations and divorces rise. Furthermore, children happen to be silent mistresses of a marriage. Because having children demands most of your time and attention. However, I totally disagree to this research. Children are a blessing from God; they are given to a couple as a gift to further bond couples and not to divide them. Couples who stick together as partners through the process of becoming parents can keep their marriage strong.
When our eldest child was born, she was the most beautiful face. We experienced great joy but we have also come to realization that having a child and becoming parents will become our greatest challenge. My wife and I would make shifts in taking care of our baby. I would do at least 3 hours of taking care of our baby at night so my wife could rest for a while. She would be in charge of taking care of our baby on daytime and the rest of the night. Our time was really focused on our baby and honestly, we overlooked the nurturing of our relationship for some time.
My wife and I realized that we could remain partners and parents at the same time. To avoid stress, arm yourself with lots of information. You can ask your parents and friends or read books about the basic process of having a newborn and the frequent possibilities that you have to adapt. Do not hesitate to negotiate with your partner. If you feel you have already reached your limitations then it is time to seek your partners help. Do not carry all the burden of parenthood. Being parents is a two way process, both partners must rotate the tires in raising up their children. Despite the endless demands of parenthood, be sure to take time for just the two of you. In taking care of your children, treat it as part of your love and not just of a mere obligation.
Having our children made our lives more complicated, but it made our relationship stronger and deeper. In fact, I love our life now and that is because of our two kids. Marriage always takes two and it means also in becoming parents. The expert comments: “No one takes a mother’s place, and the family will be stronger and happier if she makes room for Daddy!” “Children have taken two people who loved each other and turned them into something more: OUR CHILDREN MADE US A FAMILY!”
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