It is time to let go

Have you ever been in a relationship before that has been hunting you even after marriage? Do you have a first love memory that gives you a teary eye? Does memories from your past relationships hurting your marriage?

If the questions ring a bell then it is time to let go! Before a couple enters marriage, either or both of couples had past love relationships. Most couples decide to get married after comparing or choosing from a previous relationship. Past relationships also develops a bond that has good or bad memories. Good memories from the past are normal but letting it affect your present marriage is the real issue. Some couples specifically those who have only recently got married tend to compare their partners with their past ones. Some even go to the extent of saying I am better off with him or with her.

I have three girlfriends from my past and it is hard to let go after a relationship. Before my wife and I got married, I had this relationship with a girl named Ana who does not want to end our affair. We were officemates and they would always tease us that we look good for each other. One day, she confronted me and asked me if I like her and if she can be my girlfriend. I was shocked because she was the one who proposed for a relationship. When I was saying I was kind to her because I was her friend, she suddenly said she is experiencing a heart attack. The relationship went on I tried but the feeling was not there. Ana was so jealous when I would talk to other women. I was entangled into a relationship that I was not happy at all.

She even said that she would take her life if I will break up with her. I said I have to end the relationship and I remember even pleading for my freedom. I told her honestly that I have to enter a new one. My wife and I had already a relationship and we were very happy but my wife had fights because of her. Ana would always call and say that she will be going to church and she is not feeling well and there is no one to accompany her. She would still make calls for me to accompany her even if she knows I was already in a new relationship. Months came and I guess my wife had her limits and told me to choose between the two of them. My wife was right I was already in a relationship with her so it would be unfair for her seeing someone else. I talked to Ana and said that I would have to stop seeing her. She said the same things that she would do bad things to herself. I would have to choose and it is a time to let go also for me. I would have to accept that if anything went wrong because of our brake up, I was not to blame. Whatever happens to Ana it would be her decision and it would not be my accountability.

I choose to have a relationship with my wife and let go of my bond with Ana. Yes, I know I had hurt her but it was the right thing to do. It was quite hard at first because I was frightened that she had done something bad to herself. I would always pray that she would also find the right man for her. I had also to fight for the person that I love most. It also took me months of having fear in my heart. I had to decide and let go of my guilt and fears for my present relationship.

If you are in this situation and you have fears, take my advice you have to come out and face the situation. It is better to decide now rather than sacrificing your present relationship. Do not let your past be your guide for your daily life. It is time to let go and embrace your new life. Leave that past behind. “If there are mistakes that you have done in the past then forgive also yourself and let it be a learning experience. If there are happy memories from your past relationship then let it remain only as a memory from the past!”