“It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it!”

Marriage is hard if one of the parties is rude, discourteous, inconsiderate and cruel. Nothing is more upsetting if your spouse turns into a hot pot and you become the shock absorber every time he torments you with insults. My wife and I have witnessed couples being separated because the wife have been treated rudely that she felt bitter and she was turning into a person she never wanted to be. Husbands who have left home because their wives always nagged them and yelled at them in front of other people.

I remember my wife’s friend who always complains about his husband. His husband’s colleagues would always go to their home and drink liquor. They would sing loud songs and do the usual stuff of drinking beer until they almost fall asleep. Being a mother, she would always complain about his husband’s behavior of being rude and saying bad words that was eventually affecting their children. It was not already healthy for their kids to see their father almost every day being drunk and saying harmful things against them. At first, it was a verbal abuse but as years goes by the perfect home that they dreamed of crumbled. The husband became an alcoholic and rude that lead him to hurt his wife and children. Finally, my wife’s friend decided to have separate ways, not only for herself but also most especially for her children.

Most men have no idea about the power of their voice. A man’s voice has the power to create and to destroy. His words can be like a sword that wounds or a shield that protects or soothes a wounded heart. On the other hand, the voice of a woman is like a crafted violin that brings out the nicest tune. A right tune that calms the home, but a woman with a harsh voice brings torment to every member of the home.

Talk honestly with your partner if there are issues that should be settled. By all means, settle disputes and lay down every opinion on the table. However, do not let your feelings be weapons of criticism that will destroy your respect and communication to each other. Be calm and try to understand each other’s thoughts. Correct each other in love and avoid useless confrontations. As what I always say, “It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it.”