Housework a day-to-day struggle?

Housework, as harmless as it may seem was categorized as one of the common issues in marriage. Would it be right for men to be doing household chores? Would women be always in charge of housework? How could a simple washing of the dishes or cleaning the toilet be a day-to-day struggle?

In our early marriage, my wife and I shared all the household chores. We did everything together; we are partners in doing the laundry, cooking, washing the dishes, cleaning and ironing of clothes. However, I had taken on a lot more responsibility on office work and my wife would take care most of the housework. Since my wife is also working, she had to do household chores at night. She would work in the bank for eight hours every day and would come home to cook, clean our house and wash the dishes. I know it was very tiring for her, but I could not really help her because I was also working hard. She was doing all right but after awhile, I guess she just physically burned out.

She became easily irritated, angry and upset at times. She began to complain about feeling overloaded and began to have mood swings. My wife would complain on doing housework that was really to be a men’s work like fixing our faucet, painting or carrying heavy loads. After awhile this housework thing became one of our common disputes in our marriage. A simple thing of who will do the laundry would create arguments. It maybe inoffensive as it seems but it is starting to be the beginning of an argument.

My wife and I talked and started to sort things out. We agreed that both of us must take a more active role in home chores. I would wake up early in the morning to prepare for breakfast while my wife would wash the dishes. My wife would be in charge of cooking our dinner because I would come home late from work. When my wife would do the laundry and iron clothes especially on weekends I would do the cooking and washing of dishes. Sundays are reserved for major chores like fixing broken fixtures, painting or shopping for groceries. We make sure that this housework became not an obligation on our part but also a bonding time for both of us.

Communication and proper allocation of time is very important. The division of labor is always based on what is to be done and who is available to do it. I do not care if I do the laundry with my wife or cook sometimes because it is also a chance for me to appreciate what my wife has been doing for years. Doing the laundry will not in any way affect myself-worth of being a man. Handling additional housework is not as demanding on my time and effort as I thought it would be!

When work becomes your top priority

Being a husband and a father is not an easy job. Marriage gets even more challenging when children gets into the picture. Irritations of being a husband and a father are always there but it is on how you deal with them points to be the real issue. Every husband wants to have enough time with his wife and children but work occupies a lot of their time. One of the major goals of a man in his life is to get a good job, to provide a stable and secure support for his family. Husbands are highly appreciated for providing financial income for his family but some men are overdoing it. When work becomes your top priority chances are your time with your family is sacrificed. Of course, having a good job to provide for your family is highly admirable but overdoing it is not right.

In our early marriage, I would work on weekdays and have overtime until midnight. I will always come home at night to see that both of my children are already sleeping. On weekends, I would do sidelines like drawing engineering projects for other people. I was focused on getting additional income for my family and worst I would fail to attend important events with my family. One day, one of my children got sick and I have to stay at the hospital with my wife. I realized that work must not be my top priority. Having a balanced time working and spending quality time with my family is an important key for a strong marriage.

It is very important for a father to know his presence in his own home. The presence of a father in his home gives his family security, love and protection. Spending time especially with your children and wife does not only create a strong bond but it gives them the chance to feel and think that you are a valuable or an important part of their lives.

When work becomes your top priority, it is time to balance things. It would be better to have a happy family and being financially stable at the same time. No matter how much you are earning from your work, spending time with your wife and children is far more valuable, it is indeed PRICELESS!

Work frustrations

Hi Friends! Have you ever talked to your spouse in an impolite or bad-mannered way? Are you the type that comes home from work tired and just needs to get your stress out and end up being angry and irritated?

My wife has been quite used to these situations and what she does to lower down my anger really works. In our early marriage, I would go home from work tired and angry towards my boss or colleagues, I often make my family my outlet of anger. My wife gives me time to go up to our room, rest for a while and enjoy the calmness and quiet atmosphere. When confrontation heats up my wife would usually correct me immediately and says” Ooops this isn’t good you’re developing your anger to me which is wrong I am not an enemy it’s ok to tell me about what’s causing your anger, did something happened in your office that bothered you?” Then I would smile your right and we would sit down and try to solve things out or just to let her hear of my stressful day at work, and believe me it will go out just fine.

Marriage must be a home of happiness and joy.It is hard with one of the parties being cruel and full of frustrations.Do not make your marriage a dumping ground for your work frustrations.Saying inhumane things can also be sort out as a means of brutality and harassment.Being battered can also be classified verbally and not only physically. A man usually gives comfort to his family but a rude man can be terrifying and brings fear to his wife and children. A man’s voice has the power to build a home, generate a happy marriage or has the power to ruin and destroy a home.

Here is a reminder: As a husband who works and supports our family you must have time to do things that entertain you like a simple chat or seeing the picture of your friends in the internet perhaps or walking in the park alone. Set a time for rest and enjoyment like bowling or doing things that will refresh you and cast your work frustrations.