Having a perfect partner

All couples who marry desires to have a perfect partner. It is always our dream to have a perfect one that will meet our every need. However, in reality if you love someone it is always a perfect time to let go of those expectations.

In our early marriage, I would often go home late at night. My wife would complain because she cannot count how many number of times I would promise to go home for dinner but then came home late from work. She would prepare my favorite food only to find out that I would work overtime and eat in our office. It was really an irritating situation for both of us especially when the kids are waiting for me for dinner. My wife talked to me one night and cried she said that she expected a husband that would give his family quantity and quality time. I also said that when I got married, I also expected a wife that will understand me of my chosen profession as an Engineer. I would work most of the times late at night and be assigned to different destinations. We expected many things from each other like having time that was not being met at all. We would always be arguing and similar ones happened far too frequently.

We finally learned and settled that it would be healthier for both of us if we rearranged are expectations. We realized that it did no good to be angry and resentful. All we need is to adjust and meet each other’s expectations. My wife would call me before she cooks our food and I would have scheduled overtimes on specific days so us not to hamper my time with my family. When disappointing things happen, it is better to remind ourselves of our partner’s good qualities.

Let go of as many expectations as possible. Understand always each other in love. The changes you try to make your partner to whom you would like him to be would only bring disappointment. Instead, accept your partner the way he is and make the necessary adjustments. In marriage, couples are always a team. Learn to trust your partner that both of you are on the same team and not an opponent.

When both of you work, what is your priority?

What happens when both of you are working? What is your priority work or marriage? Dedication to both career and marriage do not need to be equally restricted. With a little adjustment and inspiration, there are ways to make the most of your work capability and have the joy of a happy family life.

Years ago, when my wife and I are both working, each of us is busy building a career. Though our worked had heavy demands on each of us, it recharged our relationship. I remember, even when we both work on overtime my wife and I would spent time going to the cinema, buying food and drinks and enjoy watching movies on the last full show. It was indeed a refreshing time, an outlet for both us after a tiring day at the office. We would take time to eat at a restaurant or have bowling on weekends. Having time with your spouse is a decision if you want to have a strong marriage. Simple things like sending a text message on break time is an easy thing to do and it will not be a waste of time. A strong marriage requires time and it should be a time well spent.

When both of you are working, stress from work is normal. Try listening to music or drinking a cup of tea or cold juice in a quiet place individually. A place that is far from the thought of unpaid bills and heavy loads of household chores. By giving time for each other to revive yourselves individually, it will prepare you to interact and talk to each other better.

Couples make the mistake of thinking their marriage will somehow take care of itself. However, unless you have the passion about building your marriage relationship, you will not end up with a worthy marriage. Partners who both have good careers usually face a number of complicated choices. Choices like are you willing to resign from your job for the sake of your children? How will you support each other’s professional aspirations? When major decisions like these are present, you need to carefully evaluate the choices and their consequences. Unless you make these tough choices together, you will end up in a struggle over whose career is more important.

When work becomes your top priority

Being a husband and a father is not an easy job. Marriage gets even more challenging when children gets into the picture. Irritations of being a husband and a father are always there but it is on how you deal with them points to be the real issue. Every husband wants to have enough time with his wife and children but work occupies a lot of their time. One of the major goals of a man in his life is to get a good job, to provide a stable and secure support for his family. Husbands are highly appreciated for providing financial income for his family but some men are overdoing it. When work becomes your top priority chances are your time with your family is sacrificed. Of course, having a good job to provide for your family is highly admirable but overdoing it is not right.

In our early marriage, I would work on weekdays and have overtime until midnight. I will always come home at night to see that both of my children are already sleeping. On weekends, I would do sidelines like drawing engineering projects for other people. I was focused on getting additional income for my family and worst I would fail to attend important events with my family. One day, one of my children got sick and I have to stay at the hospital with my wife. I realized that work must not be my top priority. Having a balanced time working and spending quality time with my family is an important key for a strong marriage.

It is very important for a father to know his presence in his own home. The presence of a father in his home gives his family security, love and protection. Spending time especially with your children and wife does not only create a strong bond but it gives them the chance to feel and think that you are a valuable or an important part of their lives.

When work becomes your top priority, it is time to balance things. It would be better to have a happy family and being financially stable at the same time. No matter how much you are earning from your work, spending time with your wife and children is far more valuable, it is indeed PRICELESS!

A lovely surprise

I went home last night with a joy in my heart to see my family waiting for me. My wife and two children usually sit outside our door and waits for my arrival. My wife would say that waiting for me to arrive becomes one of their bonding moments. They would sit, sing songs and look at the moon and the stars while waiting for me. When I finally came home, my children would always run to embrace me and tell me were glad you are here daddy! Every day I would come home having something for my kids. I would bring home anything; even little candies can give them always a smile. It is a pretty thing that young children are contented even on the most little things especially if it comes from their father.

My wife would usually kiss me and smile looking at my kids enjoy the food that I have bought them. That night I gave my wife a lovely surprise. I bought her a pasta dish and a drink that happens to be her favorite. She was surprised because I do not usually do that. She asked me why there is an occasion or have you done something wrong? I said, “No it’s just one of my ways to say thank you for being a good wife and a nice mother.” My wife smiled and said thank you for making her day beautiful.

Love always communicates through emotions. Try to understand your partners love language. If you cannot think of a lovely surprise then think of the things that you have done before she said yes to marry you. Did you often give her flowers, letters or a simple text message can make her happy?

We should learn to appreciate our partners and make them feel that they are a special part of our lives. Communication does not always mean to be verbal. Your partner will love you best if you communicate with simple gestures of caring and thoughtfulness. As what I always say, “Courtship must not end after marriage it should remain in a relationship, it is a lifetime process.”

Work frustrations

Hi Friends! Have you ever talked to your spouse in an impolite or bad-mannered way? Are you the type that comes home from work tired and just needs to get your stress out and end up being angry and irritated?

My wife has been quite used to these situations and what she does to lower down my anger really works. In our early marriage, I would go home from work tired and angry towards my boss or colleagues, I often make my family my outlet of anger. My wife gives me time to go up to our room, rest for a while and enjoy the calmness and quiet atmosphere. When confrontation heats up my wife would usually correct me immediately and says” Ooops this isn’t good you’re developing your anger to me which is wrong I am not an enemy it’s ok to tell me about what’s causing your anger, did something happened in your office that bothered you?” Then I would smile your right and we would sit down and try to solve things out or just to let her hear of my stressful day at work, and believe me it will go out just fine.

Marriage must be a home of happiness and joy.It is hard with one of the parties being cruel and full of frustrations.Do not make your marriage a dumping ground for your work frustrations.Saying inhumane things can also be sort out as a means of brutality and harassment.Being battered can also be classified verbally and not only physically. A man usually gives comfort to his family but a rude man can be terrifying and brings fear to his wife and children. A man’s voice has the power to build a home, generate a happy marriage or has the power to ruin and destroy a home.

Here is a reminder: As a husband who works and supports our family you must have time to do things that entertain you like a simple chat or seeing the picture of your friends in the internet perhaps or walking in the park alone. Set a time for rest and enjoyment like bowling or doing things that will refresh you and cast your work frustrations.

"Marriage takes two to tango"

“Marriage takes two to tango!" This quote most probably is the frequently used quotes about marriage. It did not say one it says two, which means both of the couple, must do everything to have their marriage work. Many couples lead to broken homes because each of the couples insists that it is one’s fault or the other. Having lack of communication and letting anger and bitterness sink in is the core of broken relationships!

My wife and I have been married for 10 years and until now; experiencing fights and irritations have been normal day-to-day happenings for us. There are times when our love for each other is strong and passionate. However, there are times when you begin to ask your love for your spouse or your spouse love for you. Increasing and doing same things repeatedly in our relationship becomes tiring and boring. The old courtship romance in our marriage was gone; our love was like a candle that slowly melts its wax, and losses light!

If you are on this stage it is normal, every couple is undergoing what we call marriage blues! Set a time for you and your wife to sit and talk about these differences without having to tone up voices and kids playing around. You can talk when your kids are not around or when the kids are sleeping. Speak to each other as a point to inform your negative feelings about a certain issue remember both of you are created not in the same way so each of you need to adjust and let’s face it guys we are people no one is perfect.

One of the secrets I do is to always hug my wife and tell her that I love her! This simple touch gestures believe me can regenerate your love communication and romance. Being verbal saying thank you and expressing appreciation, as a simple the food you cooked was great will surely give your wife a smile! Make her feel important, most woman love to hear pleasant words, a verbal appreciation for their work or positive attitude or a simple I love you text message can rekindle the courtship romance in your marriage. Of course, this method will work in both ways. Each spouse needs to learn how to bring back the love language. If you cannot think of something then go back to the first cherished day you met your wife. The ways you did when you courted her and how did you get her to say yes to marry you.

Seeing my kids growing and my wife and I growing old I couldn’t think of being separated just because of this irritations or this have you lost this lovely feeling issues. I’d rather stooped down my pride, talk our differences and patch up things with my wife, have quality time with my kids rather than being separated and having my own way and to see my children suffer in the long run!