In-laws and partner relationship

My in-laws have just visited us a couple of weeks ago and I would say I am blessed to have them as my second parents. They are both born-again Christians and at first it was an issue for them because I am a Catholic and they would prefer their child to be married to a born again Christian. It was not because of my religion I presumed it’s just they want their daughter to marry a deserving man!”However, as years go by they accepted me in their family and they treated me as one of their own child! I’m more than glad and honored to be a part of their family!”

Your in-laws and partner relationship can be a hypersensitive case. Accepting and embracing a new person in their family cannot be that easy. This issue is but normal so do not expect your spouse to have an established bonding immediately. The truth is it will be affected primarily on you, on how you treat your spouse in front of them! Here are a few reminders:

 Do you say good things about your spouse in front of them or do you always complain about the negative attitudes of your spouse? – Building the personality of your other half in their minds will depend practically on you. When you always say cruel things about your spouse, they will obviously believe you and put into conclusion that you have made the wrong decision of marrying your partner. When you always say good things, about how your spouse takes good care or loves you then your family members will think that your partner is a valuable person, an asset that deserves their acceptance, love and good treatment. However, of course always show good treatment because you really love your spouse and not just to get their approval!

Try to resolve your problems within your home. If possible, do not let them know about your personal problems except of course when endangering your life is the issue. Going to the counsel of your family every time a petty problem arises will create more commotions and will not solve the problem.

Now, what to do about your in-laws and partner relationship?

•Encourage your partner to share their feelings towards your family members. If he or she reveals of something take time to listen, cover it with prayer, and ask God to get in the middle of the situation.

•Maintain a personal contact with your in-laws and always go to family member’s party with your partner.

•Try at least to be with her and introduce to other family members do not leave her in a corner to give your spouse a chance to feel alienated or out of placed.

•Bond with your in-laws and find their interest. If your in-laws are into sports then invite them to recreational events like bowling, playing tennis, golf or any sport that are of interest to them.

•Do not expect instant bonding and for your family to accept your spouse with open arms. It takes lot of time and effort on everybody’s part!